Choosing a Spiritual Director

Find guidance on choosing the right spiritual director, including questions to reflect on and ask potential guides.

Finding the Right Match

If you are curious about embarking on Spiritual Direction (Accompaniment, Companioning, Mentoring, Soul Friend...) we recommend you interview more than one guide. At that discernment meeting that person will learn about you and explore with you to find the right match for a spiritual direction relationship. The match process is important since different companions have different styles and strengths and different seekers are coming from different contexts and seeking different things.

Questions to contemplate when seeking Spiritual Direction:

What draws you to the idea of spiritual direction?
Why now?
What is your earliest memory of thinking about that which is greater than you/the holy/your purpose/vision/hope?
How would you describe the most sacred/holy for you?
Is your life a journey? Dance? Painting? Describe the scenery, colors, smells, feelings…
What is your purpose/goal/hope in life?
What is your spiritual DIRECTION?

Questions to ask a guide

Spiritual Directors International recommends you interview at least two prospective spiritual directors, if possible. Most offer a 15 minute phone call and/or a free first “get to know you” session.

Ideally, it is best to interview two to three spiritual directors, using questions such as these:

What enrichment, spiritual formation, and theological education do you have in spiritual direction?
What is your personal experience tending your own prayer, meditation and contemplative or devotional life?
What is your experience as a spiritual director? How many years? In what environments?
What are you most interested in spiritually?
How do you continue your education and supervision for your spiritual direction ministry?
(If you are part of a religious community)What is your implied or explicit covenant with my Rabbi/Priest/Minister/Pastor/Spiritual Leader?
What ethical guidelines do you abide by, such as those published by Spiritual Directors International?
Have you ever been accused or convicted of misconduct?
What is our agreement regarding confidentiality?
What type of covenant (engagement agreement) will we establish to clarify roles and responsibilities in our spiritual direction relationship?
What will you expect of me?

What is Supervision?

All UUSDN members have affirmed that they participate in supervision.

There are several types of Supervision/support

Individual: Meeting with a trained supervisor
Supervisor-Led Group: Meeting in a group with a trained supervisor facilitating
Peer supervision: Meeting in a group where the person facilitating rotates among the group. May or may not include a trained supervisor
A mix of the above: For instance, some may meet with a group 6 months of a year and with an individual supervisor 6 months.
Any participant in one type of supervision may bring specific needs to a different type of supervision.

If you are searching for a spiritual companion, read their listing carefully to note how they are fulfilling their commitment to supervision, and ask them about it during your initial conversation.